-=Limit=-

Life hasn't been going that smoothly for me, my only Joy is my son. Everyday i wake up & see his cute little chubby face, makes me feel that everything is worth it coz its for him. I control my temper & attitude nowadays but people seems to be taking advantage of it. When keys are not found, wallets left at places not by me but the owner, i get all the shit. Come on, I'm a lifetime partner to share joy & saddness with, not a punching bag for anyone.
I respect those who give me my respect & deserve it. There are many things that people don't know that I've been going through, I need some breathing space. God please give me the strength to overcome odds & let me get a job that I deserve soon.
I'm just inches away from erupting, maybe this is retribution for being too playful in the past. Any housewife who is being treated badly deserves to be helped, staying at home taking care of the childeren,doing the household chores and devoting her life to her family is a very huge sarcifice to her family. I dunnoe why these husbands out there cant think straight. Bringing the bread home is important but what will the family become without these housewives?
I had my fortune read once and i'm slowly withnessing the unfolding of my life as much as i wish that it will not happen. Well, the world still revolves and we still have to continue on with our lives, enough said lets just see how things go. Don't worry God will punish those who bully the weak. Amen.

i am a FAILURE..

I feel like a total failure. I thought I was the happiest bride,it turns out diff. I'm torn,shattered. I love my son, i'll love him even if he's not with me. I'll work hard and fight for him, God help me to get a job soon and give me the strength to stay strong. I dunnoe hw long more I can take this stress, I no longer hope to come hm to face anyone but my son. He's my only joy & worry nw.
Blamed for the things i've not done, i love my mum althought she said mean things abt me. It pains me to see her cry still. I need a break from everything, i might just become a nut.

Family, what does it mean to you? I've no1 but myself, its sad to say after living for 25yrs tt I'm actually all alone. Maybe thats what God has planned for me. Who am i? I'm just an insignificant person who everyone hates. I tried, tried to make pple around me happy. Sometimes i wish to just end it all, once and for all. I'm only a human, i've got a heart and feelings too.
God please show me the light, i really need you nw.

-=Graduation=-

Finally Graduation is over after almost half a yr of wait. It wasnt as fantastic as i though, the ceremony. The ''Hungry Ghost'' (parents of Grads) were stoving as much food as possible onto their plates & mouth. I was utterly ashame & disguisted by them, even the fathers are so horrible. Paying only for the ticket of 2, students brought their whole clan to wipe out the buffet! I'm glad my mum & husband isnt the same.

I'm g0nna return my gown & stuff today, 1week after the ceremony. Time really flies. Love bought a pair of really expensive ear rings for me, I'm so touched & i love them!! We were @ nearby island with good company over the weekend & I'm glad we enjoyed ourselves. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Love & I will be always this loving and that our lil family will be a forever happy one. I'm lo0king 4ward to our nx trip which will b coming soon. weeeeeeeeeeeee

Thanks for everything love, I know U're doing ur best.

-=See no evil, hear no evil, feel no evil=-

Today is a huge turning point in my life. I've learnt that I can only count on myself, I must stay strong & sane. I've been acting alil insane I think, I'm going to enjoy my life & not to be so sensative on things or rather just let things go with e flow. I've learnt tt expectations can be harmful,or lets say expectations from pple. I'll just set expectations 4 myself nw. My goal now is to get bk to my weight be4 preg. That's my goal & i expect myself to loss about 10kg in 2months. There after I'm going to get a job and enjoy some time with the babes. I really miss e good old times with them. There were lesser worries, at least much lesser than now.
I maybe stubborn but peopla around me are not much better. Setting my piorities right, I'll try not to be envious of th0se loving couples. I'll dream about being in one loving marriage tonight & every other night since reality isnt tis way.
Secrets will be kept deep within myself for now, lessons learnt everyday.
I have to stay strong, DO NOT RELY ON ANYONE.

-=Unappericated=-

I'm pissed off, bored & overweight. I've been stuck @ hm since June, i'm bored. I've been wanting to go on a holiday but I keep thinking that the money shld be spent on e baby instead. Now i really want to go on a holiday!! I've not even g0ne f0r my honeymoon & my husband doesn't even b0ther. All he cares about is hving to save the money for the baby. Come on, I didnt give birth 2 my boy to end up this way, having n0thing for myself.
I'm pissed off that he spends so much time on the psp that he doesnt even bother planning for our 1st year anni. It seems like nothing to him, it doesnt matter, all these dates doesnt matter. 1st it was bad planning for my birthday and now, no planning for our wedding anni. I've to keep asking n searching around for somewhere to go or something special to do,wtf i'm sick of doing it everytime. This is just e 1st yr of our marriage, I wonder hw e rest of e years will be like. If he's going to continue this way, I'm not gonna bother either. It feels as if I've wasted my life & i've lots of regrets. Is this my marriage or our marriage? Whats marriage? To me now it just means routine and been unappericated.

-=M0r0ns=-

TGIF. Mr Teo will be back from Shanghai t0day. It'll be midnight by then. He could be much earlier but some freaking Cols just cant get their act t0gether properly causing him to miss the earlier flight & nearly missing the one he is on now.

I'm disappointed in the way tis Co. do their things, they are no where near the previous Co. Well, s0metimes changes might not be positive. Lets hope things get better if not i'll hope a new n better opp will appear soon *finger's cross*

Lil Raph is getting more n more aborable as the days go by. He loves it when pple talks to him, his smile is priceless. When our country cel her b'day, he'll be 2months old =)

-=25 ALREADY=-

I'm offically 25. Wow, it feels weird tt I'm so old n its scary hw time flies when we hit e 20's. I cant think of e 30's or more. I'm glad tt i've still gt several gd friends @ tis age, hopefully they wun be too caught up with their 0wn family in future .

I was kinda disappointed with Mr Teo for my b'day, i felt tt it wasn't planned properly & stuff. He managed 2 savage it with a lil surprise luckily n the b'day gift was really costly. I'm looking forward to our 1yr wedding anni in e nx month, hopefully he'll give me a wonderful surprise.
Time to go now.

-=that naUghty fella=-

Its been ages since i've last written, been really caught up with lil Raph. Its a really tough job looking after babies, so those wh0 are thinking of starting a family, please make sure U're metally n physically prepared. There were some unhappy moments n some misunderstandings, its tiring. I pray that tt lil Raph will b gd & grow up quickly.

Daddy dearest is out of t0wn & I really hate tt its during e weekends, What an awful arrangement. I'll be starting my keeping fit routine & hopefully I'll get bk to shape asap. I want to b a pretty mum, @ my age if i don't i'll b nuts =p Jogging n Swimming!!

That's my lil naughty one.

-=Little Bundle of Joy=-

Delivered my little bundle of joy for over a week, he's such a cutie. Sometimes i still cant accept the fact tt I'm a Mummy now. I realised hw much my mum went through for the 10months, the delivery & e after effects. Its just the start of a new path & i'm scared but i know god is with me & my family. Love has been really sweet, cheering me up when i felt overwhelm by tons of exhaustion. I'm lucky to hv my family & my mum-in-law to help with my confinement, i will not be able to get through this period w/o them. Feeling rather helpless nw, i'm trying to replenish my nutrients & get my health back i can hardly eat. I crave for a cup of COLD COLD FIZZIE drink, Coke or whatever but i know its impossible nw. Drinking PLAIN water is a luxury nw, i nv imgine its this tough.

I also want to thank my friends for their support & concern, its great to know that i'm in their thoughts. Joanne visited me today, our conversation lasted for abt 2hrs & i'm shocked to realise hw drained i was after just sitting there talking to her. Finally realised hw weak i'm nw. I must get back my health asap!! and of coz i hope 1 month flies pass soon. COKE here i come!!!

-=Counting Down - 1Month 10days=-

Just a quick update before i get busy with other stuff. Its only 1month & 10days left!! It feels pretty stressful at times as i don't know what to expect & there'll be a sudden rush of emotions. I hope tt Love will be very supportive. Him embarking on his next stage of career is tough, pray tt things will be smooth sailing. My aches are getting worst & i get exhausted & feel the warm weather a killer. I guess I'll not be able to go out often as of now, its tiring =p

Looking forward to the day our little one arrives.
God Bless.

-=aching all over=-

Its almost 7months nw, I'm aching all over but it'll be worth it when i see his cute cheeks in 3months time =) Love & I've decided on his name as well as some other stuff. I'm kinda anxious & scared.
LOve is embarking on another stage of life be4 our lil one arrives & i hope all goes well.
God Bless Us.

-=What a Coward=-

What is the world coming to? Why is it tt some1 who is so irresponsible & cowardly not have to pay for his sins!? If there's nothing tt can be done to him by law, God will definately do the job! Our world is becoming dangerous to live in, just when i though i am living in a safe country. Totally detest that bloody coward, yes I'm cursing him & so are many out there.
May our curse come true, SERIOUSLY!!
Please stop coming into our country if ur pple are cowards & U cannot do anything about it. Arghhhhh, reading about the incident really makes my blood boil.

U out there will get what U deserve!!

-=valentines??so what??=-

Life is so boring, its even worst when u've got things u wanna do but u cant do it now. CNY is coming but so what? I cant even feel the atmosphere anymore, i feel tt my life is getting monotonous, Valentine's day is coming so what? Its the this t0gether so what? no plans, no flowers nothing romantic, flowers only happen when a couple dates! Is that what's g0nna happen after a couple gets married?? Or am i expecting too much? I was very excited as it'll be the 1st v-day together but now i think its better i put that though off my mind.
I want to watch the t00th-fairy & other girlie shows but it will seem like a bore to the other party. I want to go out for supper & hv yummy deserts but it all seems like a dream now, I only stay @ hm to rot. Morning, evening & night, how can i be happy?
A joke or a song only happens when i asked for it, whats happening?? counting down, to june... hope things can last till then.

-=Happy Marriage=-

Thanks for all the well wishes everyone, its really heartfelt. This part of my life journey has just started, i pray that God will continue to lead me the way. I know that things will not be easy but I'll try, there're things tt I cannot mention here but i hope everyone will be happy.
I'll constantly remind myself & tell my self tt i am a happy woman..
I must be constantly happy. .
stay happy..
dont cry..
dont fear..
God will make a way for me.

Amen.